By Adrian Lim, Australia (Samanera Sumedha – 2009 Sarnath)
I never thought I would ever attend the novitiate programme. Two weeks in monk robes, two meals a day, communal temple living, and all the associated restrictions – it all sounded too difficult. Each year as I heard about the novitiate, I would rationalise all the reasons why I could not go – too busy, no leave, other things I had to do – but underlying it all, I was simply not ready.
Unexpectedly then, and at the last minute in September 2009, I decided to sign up for the novitiate programme in Sarnath. I suddenly felt that I was overdue for a “spiritual time out” and that it was time to replenish my fast-depleting “merits bank”. After all, I had often heard Venerable Mahinda’s catch-cry that “the novitiate is an experience that you will never forget in this lifetime, and perhaps future lifetimes”. Though I did not understand precisely why and how the experience would be “unforgettable”, at the time I just wanted to believe it. I also thought that by spending two weeks in one of the four Buddhist holy sites (and enduring all the discomfort outside of my comfort zone), I would at least receive lots of divine blessings and my life would be set for greater things! If I could achieve all of this, surely surviving the two weeks would all be worth it.
Some of you reading this may know what I mean by “surviving the two weeks”. Yes, on the one hand, you want some time to reconnect with your spiritual self, but then the thought of committing two whole weeks in India and enduring the hardship is a little much to bear.
“Really…what will the toilets be like – will there be hot water? Do we get beds? Will I able to sleep in a room with so many people – what happens if there are snorers – and mosquitoes? And I have to wake up at 5am and no dinner?”
You then start to rationalise that perhaps your time and money could be better spent on a holiday elsewhere. After all, you’ve worked hard and you deserve something more enjoyable - and so in this familiar manner, the novitiate is put off for yet another year.
All these quiet questions and inner doubts are understandable (if like me, you’ve become that attached to all the mundane comforts of your life). And therein lies a point. As I realised during the programme, the novitiate is in part an experience that shows us the potential to live a simpler way of life away from all our modern conveniences, yet at the same time still be truly contented and happy. Yes the first days of the programme are hard to adjust to, but in that process, you begin to recognise all your unconscious external dependencies that you assumed to be necessary in your life. And beyond that, how being free from it all is somehow liberating – and that, of itself, is not a bad thing.
But as I now contemplate further, what I learnt was far more than just about leading a simpler way of life. All of the procrastinations, doubts and challenges I feared about the novitiate was in many respects also a personal test of my sincerity in wanting to lead a more spiritual way of life – in some ways becoming like mirror of all the compromises I was making to being (or not being?) a spiritual person. In this manner, the external experience of the novitiate provides an opportunity for internal reflection on what you truly want from your life, what makes you happy, and most importantly, how important is all of this to you.
Nothing quite prepares you for the outward experience of undertaking the spiritual vows at a Buddhist holy site, and its ability to deeply engage and open your mind and heart for the spiritual quest within. The setting of Sarnath, as the place where the Buddha chose to preach his first sermon, both in its symbolism and a fountain source of spiritual energies, could not have been a more fitting backdrop for the 2009 novitiate programme. Taking the vows of a samanera (or novice monk) in the Mulaghanda Kuti Vihara, meditating before the sacred Dhammika stupa, chanting the Dhammacakkapavattana Sutta each night in the very place where the Buddha first uttered it, and walking in the footsteps of the Buddha on our almsround or pindapatta, are moments hard to describe in terms of its deep spiritual impact.
And the internal transformation you undergo is unquestionable, however subtle and whether or not you may realise it at the time. As the shared experiences of the novitiate participants have shown, each person’s objectives / experience may differ from the next, but most agree that the inner transformational experience is profound and encompassing. To participate in a programme that has the genuine capacity to re-engage one’s inner spiritual self, and in the process embrace qualities such as love, compassion, humility, contentment and gratitude, is to experience the Buddha’s teachings unfold in one’s own heart and mind. It is in this respect that Venerable Mahinda’s statement that the novitiate is an “unforgettable experience” truly has an enduring context and power.
So finally, if you are reading this and still contemplating to join a novitiate programme or a spiritual retreat - put all your procrastinations to one side - and just make the decision to do it.
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